overcoming sadness

SADNESS: Sadness is a fact-based emotion that is often seen along with grief but it is a separate emotion. It is not as intense as grief, but is a negative feeling that is triggered by some unfortunate circumstance. It is sad, for example, when a young person die, or a child is injured, or a child loses a parent. All such tragedies can trigger off feelings of sadness. After feelings of grief are resolved, feelings of sadness may still exist and need to be addressed and resolved. 

steps for overcoming sadness

STEP ONE:  Be completely honest about your sadness and make a list of everything that you that makes you sad about the person you lost.

STEP TWO:  In a simple prayer, tell the Lord everything that makes you sad about the person then sincerely ask Him to take the sadness from you and carry it for you.

Man releases sadness over atheist friend

     A man came to a Set Free meeting one time and shared that he had lost a friend recently who died of cancer. When he mentioned this friend, his eyes became red and it was obvious that he had some unresolved feelings of grief. So I asked him if he would like to get rid of those feelings, and he said that he would. I asked him what feelings he had when he thought about his friend. He missed his friend and felt some grief, but he was most distraught that the friend was an atheist, and so he felt some sadness because he believed that his friend was spending eternity in hell. That's truly sad to think about friends or family members being in hell, so what would you say to ease that sadness?

     I made a list of the reasons for his sadness. He said that he was sad that he was not present when his friend died, his friend didn't know the Lord, he couldn't get clean himself long enough to help his friend, and his friend didn't get to see him get well and get off the drugs. We ended up with seven reasons for his sadness. Then I made a list of ten things he missed about his friend. He said he missed talking with him about everything, spending time with him, having fun together, seeing the smile on his face, hearing his laughter, and enjoying his friendship and joyfulness. I explained to this man that there were two steps to getting rid of his grief and sadness: first, he had to be honest about his feelings and write them out, and second, he needed to pray and tell the Lord what he missed about his friend, then ask Him to take it from him and carry it for him.

     I asked him if I could lead him in a prayer, and he said I could. We told the Lord everything that he missed about his friend and everything that made him sad about his friend, and then we asked the Lord to take his grief and sadness and carry it for him. After we finished praying I asked him to think about his friend and tell me how he felt. He said that he felt “happiness.” I asked him if he had any sadness and he said that he did feel some sadness still about his friend not knowing the Lord. So, he prayed again and said, “Lord, it makes me sad that my friend was an atheist and did not know you, and it makes me sad to think that he is spending eternity in hell. But Lord, I'm tired of carrying this sadness, so right now I choose to give it to you, and I ask you to please take this from me and carry it for me. So, I give it to you now, in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

     When we were finished I asked the Lord if there was anything that He wanted this man to know. The man said he had no thoughts come to his mind, but when I asked him how he felt when he thought about his friend being in hell he said, “At ease; peace.” He then said, “It was his choice; whether he is in heaven or hell shouldn't be my burden.” Those two thoughts came from the Lord and brought peace to his heart. The Lord took his grief and his sadness from him and gave him the insight that it was his friend’s choice and that he shouldn't carry that burden. The truth set him free from his worry and sadness about his friend. I didn't know what to say to comfort him, but the Lord did and took away his sadness.


applying the steps to sadness

Sadness is a fact-based emotion that is closely connected to grief but is a separate emotion that may need to be addressed after you have released your grief. After giving your grief to the Lord, if you still feel badly it may be sadness that you are feeling.


EXAMPLES OF REASONS FOR SADNESS:

1.  The person went through so much suffering.

2.  They died so young.

3.  They will never get to experience adulthood, love, marriage, and raising children.

4.  Their children will grow up without them.

5.  They had such an unhappy, difficult life.

6.  They died without knowing the Lord.


RESOLVING FEELINGS OF SADNESS:

Step One:  Make a list of the reasons for your sadness.

Step Two:   Tell the Lord why you are sad, then ask Him to take it from you and carry it for you.


NOTE:  Once you have gone through these two steps and given your sadness to the Lord, think about the person again and identify your feelings now. If you still feel some sadness, it means you probably missed something, so make another list and pray again. Once you give all of your sadness to the Lord, He will take it from you and replace it with peace.