1.  GRIEF IS NORMAL   Everyone experience grief when they lose someone, or something, that is important to them. Even Jesus experienced grief when His friend Lazarus died in John 11: When Lazarus' sisters went out to meet Jesus who had been out of town, they fell at His feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here my brother would not have died" (John 11:21, 32). The Bible says that "Jesus wept." Even though He knew that He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, He still felt sorrow for the sisters when He saw the depth of their grieving. Grief is normal, even for those with strong faith, because they miss the loved one who died.

2.  GRIEF CAN BE VERY PAINFUL   There are many examples in the Bible of godly people who grieved deeply, and for a long time, after losing a loved one. In Genesis 50:1 we are told that "Joseph fell on his father's face, and wept over him and kissed him," and then the "Egyptians wept for him seventy days." King David was inconsolable after his son Absalom died until his military commander spoke with him  (2 Samuel 19:1-8). Jesus did not rebuke His disciples when they began grieving over His plans to leave them, so He said, "You will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; you will grieve, but your grief will be turned into joy" (John 16:20).

3.  GRIEF CAN BE DISABLING: Grief that is unresolved can disable you. A study known as the Virginia Twin Study found that 87% of all depression was caused by some type of loss, so it can lead to crippling depression if not resolved. Although grief is normal, God does not want us to grieve to the point that we neglect ourselves and our families.

4.  JESUS WANT TO CARRY OUR GRIEF FOR US   In Matthew 5:4 Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." When he comforted His disciples about His soon departure from them He told them, "Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world. Therefore you too have grief now; but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you. (John 16:21-22). 

     Shortly after I learned the prayer principles for this ministry, I began counseling adolescent boys in group homes.  A 17-year-old boy was admitted into the program who had lost his best friend only three weeks earlier. When I first met him it was obvious that he was still in a great deal of emotional pain from this loss. He had been living with his cousin who was his best friend. When the cousin went to buy some drugs from his dealer, the dealer, who was strung out on drugs, thought the cousin had come to rob him, and shot and killed him. 

     This young man stated that he had hardly slept in the last three weeks and he was worn out. I asked him if he would like to get rid of that pain if he could, and he said that he would do anything to get rid of it. I explained to him that there were two steps for getting rid of the grief. The first step was to be honest about your grief by making a list of everything that you miss about the person. He told me that his best friend was his cousin who lived with him after both of their sets of parents were incarcerated, and they had become very close. I asked him what he missed about his cousin and he told me that he missed hanging out with him, he missed talking with him, he missed his sense of humor and all of the "goofy" things he said and did, he missed fishing with him, and he missed hunting with him. We continued with the list until he could not think of anything else and we had a whole page full of things he missed about his cousin.

     Then I told him that the second step in releasing anger was to say a simple prayer, telling the Lord everything he misses about his cousin and asking Him to take it from him and carry it for him. He told me that he was not a religious person, but he believed in God and in prayer.  I told the young man that was fine, and asked his permission to lead him in a prayer to give his feelings to the Lord and asked Him to carry them for him. I read through the list of things we made that he missed about his cousin, then he prayed, "I am tired of carrying this grief and right now I choose to give it to You and I ask you to take it from me and carry it for me. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen." We also revisited an earlier grief memory that had implanted some false guilt in him, and the Lord brought the truth to his mind that it was not his fault. When we were finished 40 minutes later I asked him to think about his cousin and tell me how he felt. To his surprise he found that he no longer had any pain, but felt peaceful about his cousin.

     The next day I saw this young man outdoors mowing the lawn, and I approached him and asked him how he was doing. He stated that he had slept well the previous night, for the first time in three weeks. I asked him if he had been thinking any more about his cousin while mowing the lawn and he smiled and said, “Yes, but I’m just remembering the good times we had together. I don’t feel any pain anymore.” I continued to meet with him each week for the next five months to follow up with him, and those feelings of grief never returned. He had other emotional issues to deal with from time to time, but those painful feelings of grief were resolved. The Lord removed his grief completely through the prayers we said together. I was amazed to see how quickly the Lord took his grief from him because I had been counseling people for 25 years and had never seen anyone get set free from their grief. I eventually concluded that this was a miracle!