Hopelessness is similar to helplessness, but they are different feelings. Helplessness is a feeling that you are weak and unable to do anything to change your situation, but hopelessness is a feeling that there is no way out and your situation will never get any better. Feelings of hopelessness are based upon beliefs like, “There is no hope for me, it’s never going to get better, there is no way out, not even God can help me, nothing good can ever come from this, I have no reason to live.” 

A feeling of hopelessness is a fundamental component of depression. It often occurs when an individual has lost someone important to them, believes they can never be happy again without that person, and believes there is no hope of ever feeling happy again.

One of the negative consequences of psychiatric treatment is that when people are told that they have a disorder that will never end, and they will need to take medications for the rest of their life, this creates a strong sense of hopelessness.  

A teenager drove a long distance with her mother to see me after being diagnosed as bipolar.  She came from a stable family and got along well with both parents and her siblings, but during the last three years she had been involved with a young man who repeatedly became involved with other girls.  She struggled with this up-and-down relationship for several years, and at times became depressed due to this unstable relationship.   She eventually broke up with her boyfriend, but in the past eight months she had lost three close friends, including one who committed suicide and one who was murdered.  

When she went to a psychiatrist she was told she was “bipolar” and would have to be on medication the rest of her life.  This announcement further depressed her and made her feel hopeless.  She disliked the medications, which had unpleasant side effects including manic feelings.  I encouraged her to educate herself about the medications she was taking so she could discuss them with her doctor.

Her intake form stated that she was “unsure” about any religious beliefs, so I was very cautious about suggesting prayer as an intervention for her anger and grief.  I gave her an example of another teenager her age who released his grief through prayer and assured her that I did not want to push any religious beliefs on her.  However, she and her mother both lit up and smiled and said they had recently returned to their faith.  The girl told me that she had been “on fire for God” when she was younger but had not been to church for five years.    She stated that she had begun praying again over the last three weeks and had found it helpful.   She was eager to try anything that might help her feel better, and she stated that her strongest pain was at the loss of a close friend two weeks earlier.

I encouraged her to talk about her friend and what she missed about him.  I made a list as she tearfully spoke about him, then I led her in a prayer in which she was completely honest with the Lord about her feelings.  When we finished praying and asked God to take her grief from her, I asked the Lord if there was anything He wanted her to know.  She told me, “He’s okay.  I’m happy he’s not in this sinful world and I’m glad I got to spend time with him while he was still here.”  I asked her if it felt true to say “He’s okay” and she said it did.  That thought brought peace to her heart.

She said she felt peaceful and calm while thinking about her friend who had died, and she and her mother were both beaming with joy when they left.  Her mother said that it was worth the long trip they had made to come to the appointment.  The girl had found relief from her intense grief, and she promised to pray about the other grief and anger issues on her own.  She was also thrilled to not feel the hopelessness any more of believing that she would be stuck with these negative emotions and have to be on medication the rest of her life.

The Lord replaced her emotional pain with peace, joy, and hope in the short time we spent praying.  What a wonderful God we have who comforts the brokenhearted and sets the captives free.  Any message that gives people a feeling of hopelessness is contrary to the Word of God, because He does not want us to feel hopeless, but to have hope.